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Her Smiling Face
At the time, it seemed like one of those end of life conversations. The kind that had never taken place before. One of supreme significance. Although it was almost a year later when she transitioned into eternity, in a way it was an end of life conversation. For me, it marked the point where my life changed. The end of my life as I had known it was over, and it was all because of that conversation.
Mary, a lady I had known for years, looked me in the eyes, speaking clearly and softly that morning inside her room in the nursing home. Tiny Mary, whose 103 year old self, had seen things I had only read about. She spoke to me about the difficulties of life and about the need to forge on ahead, despite any obstacles that might come my way. She looked me deep in the eyes and asked probing questions about my life. Inquiring of those things that made me happy, those things that made me sad – questions like did I like the work I was doing.
By nature, I am a private, quiet person who doesn’t just share the details of my life with people randomly. When I speak it is very deliberate and purposeful. But on this day, as tears poured down my cheeks, it were as though I had nowhere to hide. Completely exposed, everything I felt and everything I was going through was there, laid out for us to look at and examine together. We touched on topics I never discussed with anyone…and I knew I was supposed to. It was a divine appointment, designed to help me discover where the trials and difficulties in life had landed me.
Nodding her head, she looked at me with complete understanding. She told me over and over to make my dreams come true. The message was so clear…no matter what, find what makes me happy and make my dreams come true. It was up to me. I nodded my head back at her and told her I would. Satisfied that she had said all she needed to, she gave me a big smile, closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep…after all, under normal circumstances she would have been asleep anyway. Her work had been done.
I could not stop thinking about the things she’d said to me. Make my dreams come true, rang out repeatedly in my mind. That was when it hit me that I had been doing what I had to and nothing I wanted to for so long, I couldn’t even remember what my dreams were. I had been so far removed from anything that meant anything significant to me, that I had to go deep within, and even into prayer, to figure out what it was that I truly wanted.
It was that conversation that triggered my quest to live the rest of my life authentically. Relationships and people who were a drain had to go. Employment that wasn’t fulfilling my purpose in life, was out of here! I sat down and really determined what it was that would bring me the most happiness and fulfillment. Doing so helped me to find my true inner voice – the voice of freedom, the voice of truth.
In the coming months, I referred to this list often as I made plans to chart how I was going to make my dreams come true. I needed to prioritize, strategize and each day do something towards making at least one thing on that list come true. It was during this time that I realized that no matter how many journals I had full of ideas or how many plans I had made previously, if I wasn’t actively taking a step towards accomplishing anything, none of the things I had written down would ever come to pass.
Often it meant stepping outside of my comfort zone. Always it meant stepping out on faith and holding true to the vision that I had for my life…no matter what came up against it. This process caused me to see clearly who was for me and who had been against me all along. It was eye opening in so many ways. I discovered strength and patience and reserves I never knew existed inside of me. And, of course, there were the times when I had to encourage myself because the disappointments and setbacks caused me to slow down. But each time I made it through, I could cheer and pat myself on the back in triumph. Suddenly the finish line of step one was in sight and I knew I would cross over.
For each of the things I determined was a priority, I am at varying stages on the journeys. And it is all good. Each accomplishment just solidifies in me what she was trying to tell me that day….it’s all in me. I have everything I need to succeed right on the inside of me and as I travel along life’s path, what I need will meet me on the journey when I get there. Sometimes in my dreams I could see her ending smile of satisfaction at the results of that conversation. She was proud of me, like I was her family. She was glad that I had made the decision to live life by design and no longer by default, because I no longer had to. She was happy that she had something so significant to pour into the life of someone else. Her own journey had more meaning by being able to share her experience with another and help another person further along.
This little Jewish woman passed on at a 104 years old. Remarkable in so many ways. And though she is no longer gracing the earth with her presence, her legacy lives on…in the words she spoke that changed my life. The words that gave me the freedom and courage to live the life I was destined to. Her legacy lives on in every word of truth and act of love I pour into the lives of others. And in the moments when life is still and quiet, I can see her nodding her head and smiling at me just before she closed her eyes and went to sleep.
Each one….reach one. Thanks Mary!
In memory of Mary Fink ~ Sunrise January 1, 1909 ~ Sunset January 29 , 2013
Changing lives one word at a time…Tumika Patrice Cain
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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality,
and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing &
Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing
services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and
abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many
publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika,
her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com
and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com
