The Life Giver

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The Life Giver 

by Tumika Patrice Cain

Woman. That intriguing mystery of gentleness, love, grace. The one who holds the gift of God’s redemptive love in the very fiber of her being. Woman. She is the ultimate life-giver.

Beneath fancy hair, pretty clothes, and a sexy sashay, lies a vessel whose depth cannot be measured. Often seen as the ‘weaker’ sex, she is strong in the ways that matter most. Her mind never stops processing as she looks for a way to add one more task to her already full plate. After all, she doesn’t want to let anyone down and there is always someone depending on her.  Her hands never stop working. From preparing meals to ironing clothes to writing papers to signing checks to offering a gentle touch upon a cheek, there is always something for her to do. She looks for one more way to fit it all in, rarely complaining.

Another woman knows why she cries without provocation. Often to men she’s just overly emotional. But it is rarely spoken how often her own needs go unmet, how lonely her heart feels, and how unappreciated she is, as those around her take from her without giving a moment’s thought what she might need. It’s always do for me, take care of me, love me, support me, be there for me…and she tries. Lord knows she does. She wants to help all of those around her be the best that they can be, even at the expense of herself. Inside, her heart screams “what about me? Do I matter?” In her rare quiet moments she laments to God asking, “Do I matter? Does what I need or want or how I feel matter to anyone other than me?”

Inside that beautiful woman, and yes she is beautiful…regardless of her outside aesthetics…is an intelligent person capable of solving many of this world’s problems singlehandedly….degrees not required. And please don’t miss my point. There is nothing wrong with having advanced education. There are just some things that cannot be taught. She’s a cheerleader, a coach, a teacher, a doctor, a counselor. She is a miracle-worker. She’s the keeper of time, the wiper of tears, the tender place to land when the harshness of this world hits too close to home. She is forgiveness. For how many times has her heart be broken, how many times has she been disappointed by the actions of others, how many times has she had to put herself back together from another’s careless words? Yet she still finds it within herself to offer another chance. A chance that far too often is perceived as a weakness. It’s not weakness. It is a strength that says, “I believe in the best of you. I believe there is more in you than the worst you have shown me of yourself. I am giving you another chance to show me.”

It is well known that inside a woman’s womb lies the ability to bring forth life. Did you know that she is a life-giver every single day? She has the capacity to bring forth life in her words, in her actions, in her deeds, in how she lives her life. In her mouth are the words that bring up another generation of the greatest vessels who will ever live. In her tender touch is the ability to transfer a message of love, the very essence of life. In her smile she urges life to continue, offering encouragement to one who wants to give up. In her tears, is the cleansing balm needed to soothe a weary soul. In her hug, is the healing that is longed for from a life of too many hurts.  In her eyes, is the silent message telling that one to keep going.

Celebrate the gift of life that exists all around you. This is a twofold message. One to those who have taken for granted the gift of life they have been given by the amazing, wonderful, strong and tender women around them. Look in the eyes of that woman and, possibly for the first time, truly see her. See the depth of her love. See the tenderness of her heart. See how the actions and words of others hurt her…and vow to do better. Honor this chosen vessel as the blessing she is in your life. And never let her forget how important and special and valued she is.

This is also to the women who need a reminder who and what they are. A reminder whose they are. If the woes of this life have gotten so deep inside that as a woman you’ve forgotten who you are, then let this serve as a gentle reminder to claim all that is you. Your softness is not a weakness. Your love is not a curse. Your care is not a liability. You are a unique example of God’s amazing love and tenderness. You are a gift. A beautiful, exquisite gift to mankind. Embrace all that you are and choose to give life into every situation, into every circumstance. Your efforts are not in vain.

Changing lives one word at a time…Tumika Patrice Cain

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. She is the author of the award-winning Seasons series. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com  and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

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The Gift that Keeps on Giving

The holidays are right around the corner. It’s a time filled with happiness and cheer. People are especially kind to each other.  There’s good food, great company, parties and festivities. Hearts are especially open…and so are checkbooks! Don’t think that retailers don’t know this. Not only do they know this, they count on it. Research shows that much of our spending is tied to emotions. Commercials are geared towards tapping into our happy feelings, eliciting a response that makes us want to spend money, purchasing the advertised items. Of course, once we’re in the stores, colorful displays, cleverly placed lights, pleasant scents and friendly sales people trigger us to purchase items on impulse. It’s all a very well planned design to get the public to part with their hard earned money. It works too. I am just as guilty as the next person of coming home loaded down with bags of unplanned purchases that I just “couldn’t resist.”

This takes me right to my next point. As African Americans, we spend a disproportionate amount of money on disposable goods than other nationalities of people in the nation. According to African-Americans: Demographic and Consumer Spending Trends, 10th Edition, Blacks spent $1.3 Trillion in 2016. This is absolutely astonishing, especially considering we are only 14.5% of the United States population, per the 2016 U.S. Census Bureau and that nearly 30% of our population lives in poverty. An even more disturbing number is that 55% of our households are headed by single women, and of those households 46% are living in poverty (www.BlackDemographics.com). Major corporations use the findings from Target Market News, a company that studies the buying trends of Black people each year, to target their marketing and advertising towards us specifically.

Alas all is not lost. I don’t bring these statistics up to discourage you. There is such power in those numbers, just as there is great power in knowing our own buying power.

It is no secret that the disparity between black and white wealth in this nation is significant. Yet, we see by the numbers above that we do have resources to spend. One of the major differences between black and white wealth is what we do with the resources we have coming in. Lots of research has been spent on the buying trends of Black Americans. While we are very likely to spend our hard-earned dollars on expensive items of no real value, i.e. expensive gym shoes, designer clothes and purses, pricey cosmetics and salon services, etc., we don’t own many of the companies we spend our money with. I am not encouraging that we don’t shop. No, to the contrary, I am merely suggesting that we become more mindful and strategic about where we allow our dollars to go. Consider the following:

For every brand that you enjoy using, purchase some shares of stock in the company. This way, not only are you adding to their bottom line, but you are adding to your own future wealth as well. Even small investments over time grow to become significant to the overall quality of your life.

It is often perceived that it takes a substantial amount of money to invest in stocks and mutual funds. What would you say if I told you that it was possible to begin investing with as little as $5? Hard to believe, isn’t it? Just think that forgoing one fast food value meal each week could potentially set you up for greater wealth in some years to come. If you were to take a look at where your money goes, I’d be pretty certain that you could find other areas where the money is going to nothing significant and could be better served being invested.

There are a number of app-based programs that you can add to your smart phone and begin investing in your future, and that of your children and grandchildren, today. I don’t know about you, but that thought is so exciting to me. Here are a few companies to look into that may prove helpful on your quest to financial greatness. Stash allows you to buy into mutual funds and ETFs with as little as $5. Robinhood sells stocks that are posted on the New York Stock Exchange with minimal fees per transaction. For stocks that are listed on other stock exchanges, there are companies like Ameritrade, eTrade, and Scottrade that lets you purchase stocks for a mere $7 per transaction. What’s nice about these companies is that you can set up investment accounts for your children and grandchildren and get them started, even while you are building your own nest egg. Other companies to look at are Betterment and Wealthfront.

While you are beginning (or adding to) your investment portfolio, why not include your family in the process. It’s never too early to teach financial literacy to your children. When they come to you asking that you purchase the newest ‘hot’ item that all their friends have, make this a teachable moment. Research the company and put a plan in place to start owning pieces of stock in that company. Even if all you can purchase is one share, that’s still one share more than you had before. Plan to make consistent investments and to build up your stock portfolio. Setting up your accounts to invest automatically puts you way ahead of the game, because it’s money that you won’t have on hand to spend. You’ll be amazed at how quickly you begin to amass wealth. Compound interest earned over time is an investor’s best friend.

This year while you are making your holiday shopping lists, include the gifts that keep on giving in the form of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds.

To learn more about investing and money matters as a whole, try The Black Business School. This school is internet based and offers a wide range of classes for people of all ages. Including a special program in place just for children.  What could be more exciting…and beneficial…than to make financial planning a family affair! http://bit.ly/2hxhruQ

Changing lives one word at a time…Tumika Patrice Cain

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com

Killing the Green-Eyed Monster

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Killing the Green-Eyed Monster

People come into our lives for a myriad of reasons. None of us is in exactly the same place as another person. Even when there are similarities in one station of a person’s life, it can be vastly different in another. It is so easy to look at another person and envy what they have, resent how far they’ve come, or begrudge their success. There are a few things wrong with this thinking. Let’s explore it.

For starters, although we are not all starting at the same place or have access to the same resources, what we do have in common is a universal God who operates according to universal principles. What makes this such a powerful tool to hold on to is the fact that the laws and power of the universe work for anyone who is willing to use them. Think on that for a moment. You may not have been born into a family of wealth or means. There may be no trust fund with your name on it. You may not have any formal education, and may even be from a family where for generations education has been denied or not sought out. However, none of this matters in the grand spectrum of how life operates. While it may take you longer to get as far as the person born or married into a family of wealth and privilege, I am a firm believer that as we continue on this life’s journey, everything we need is on our paths just waiting on us to get there.

Another aspect of begrudging others what is theirs is this: How do we know what we can have or aspire to if we don’t see it first? The very one’s being looked at through eyes of longing, or even envy, are there to show you that you too can have what they have. Don’t despise the person who has a long, lasting happy marriage or the person with the large publishing contract or the person who has risen from rags to riches. Instead look at their lives and know that if you can see it, you can achieve it. They are there to motivate you, not discourage you. So be encouraged today, Beloved, and know that the universe is orchestrating on your behalf…even right now!

Finally, and probably the most important reason it is not okay to envy those who have more than you is this: you cannot receive from one whom you envy. The person may be willing to share everything they know, but your negative feelings towards them will keep you from receiving all that is available to you. Do you want to know what the biggest difference is between you and the person who has what you want? It is simply they know something you don’t know.  That may seem so simplistic, however, that is the piece of the puzzle many people miss. Instead of studying the person, requesting a meeting to talk to the person, or doing some research, they get stuck in their own negative feelings and forget to do the basics. The answer you need is staring you right in the face. Wonder what it is? It is simply asking for answers to the things you don’t know.

There is power in a person’s testimony. How often do we allow others to just sit down and tell us their story, without interrupting? There is much to be learned, to be gleaned, from being in the presence of other’s greatness and truly listening. Each day we are presented with opportunities to learn something. Not all learning is done in a classroom with chalk and chalkboard. Some of the most significant lessons we learn in life are the ones we happen upon. No, I don’t believe in happenstance. I think that God is far too strategic in his dealings with us to allow random things to happen. For everything that transpires, for everyone we meet, there is something we are to get from the experience.

What does this have to do with you and envy? Allowing yourself to be stuck in envy cuts off the flow of learning, the flow of blessingd. It is like clogging up the pipes of your life meant to bring blessings, knowledge, and wisdom and filling them instead with tar or sludge. Eventually it slows down, or even stops altogether, what can be received. The wisdom and knowledge of life is available to us all. We must only reach out and grab it. It requires being willing to put pride and ego aside and accept that we don’t know everything. It means we will have to be the student instead of the teacher sometimes. It means that we will have to ask the questions and learn from someone else more knowledgeable than we are.

The person who has that thing you want has much more than the coveted object of your desire. What they have is wisdom how to get it. Their wisdom is priceless.

The next time you see someone who is flowing in a space far beyond where you are, don’t automatically look at them and see the item as out of reach. Instead, stop and ask yourself what is it that they know that you don’t know. If the person happens to be a celebrity or hard to reach public figure type, fear not. Many of these people have biographies and autobiographies you can read. More than likely there are a number of articles and interviews that you can watch or read to learn more about them. Start there. Learn what you can about the person and their journey, then see what lessons they’ve endured that you can apply to your life. When you are comfortable, perhaps you can request to have a meeting with the person. It may or may not be the highest profile person, but is there someone local who has a similar thing? If so, reach out to them. You’d be surprised at who is willing to share time and wisdom with you. They may be willing to give you an hour of their time. And for those that are willing, don’t squander it by talking about yourself. This is a chance to your to sit at the feet of a master and learn.  Have a list of questions ready to ask them about the subject you desire. Take notes. Really listen to what they are saying. Thank them for their time, and then follow up with a written thank you note.

If you are wondering is it important to do all of that. My question to you is: how badly do you want it? You can’t do what you’ve always done and get a different result. In order to see change, you must first change. So go ahead and invest in yourself by studying the lives and habits of those who have succeeded in an area where you desire to. You can do it.

The first place to start is by putting your envy and negative emotions aside so that you may acknowledge there is something that you need to learn. Then do it. You are worth the effort it takes to change. You are worth the effort it takes to make your dreams come true!

Changing lives one word at a time...Tumika Patrice Cain

Originally published in Fresh Lifestyle Magazine, June 2017

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com

Gratitude Makes the Difference

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Gratitude Makes the Difference

Have you ever had those times when no matter what you did, you just couldn’t seem to get a breakthrough? You’ve spent time fasting, praying, and making lists of what you want. The vision board is done. You’ve named it and claimed it, yet the realization of your dreams continue to elude you. At this point, you’re tired, frustrated, and ready to scream. During your darkest times, you may even rant and rave, curse the universe (and possibly everyone else too!), and throw in the towel. You’re on the verge of giving up, convinced that all the things you’ve been taught are a lie and that dream fulfillment is just not in your cards. Hold on before you throw all of your years and effort into the rubbish bin.

There is a small key to turning your situations around that makes all the difference. It’s gratitude. Oh before you blow me off and roll your eyes feeling as if you’re about to be assigned one more thing to do that won’t bear fruit…just give me a minute.

For starters, it’s important to know that I have been where you are. I have had the life where it seemed on the surface to me that nothing was working. Relationship issues, parenting issues, issues with my parents, financial hardship, physical ailments, a job I hated, no real success in the areas where I wanted them most. Shall I go on? You name it, I had it.

One morning while traveling to work, and let me say when you’re traveling to work in the middle of the night where there’s just you and a few other people on the road, there’s lots of time to think, I remember just praying and talking to God about how unfulfilled I was. As I talked to Him, an overwhelming urge to be thankful came over me. It was like I’d been given the opportunity to see my life through a different set of eyes. I may not have the job of my dreams, but I was employed and in those moments since working there able to pay all of my bills. Issues with my child were very frustrating, but I had been blessed with a child. My parents, though frustrating, loved me and were still alive. I had not achieved the kind of success I wanted with my creative endeavors, but opportunities presented themselves to me daily to do things I’d only dreamed of doing. My relationship status was far from what I wanted it to be, but I could truly stop and be thankful that some of those men from my past had moved on. I was better off with them not being in my life. For the first time I could see that being single was a blessing and not a curse. Sometimes a partial thing is not better than nothing at all.

Then something clicked inside of me. It was like the more I looked at my life and found things to be thankful for, the more circumstances revealed themselves to me for which to give thanks. While the promises had not manifested in my life the way I thought they would have by that time, there was still the promise itself to be thankful for.

The floodgates had opened up. During that hour-long car ride in the wee hours of the morning, I felt my spirit shift from depressed, frustrated, and angry, to optimistic and hopeful. For the first time in my life, I realized how blessed I am…and have been all along…even in the midst of extreme hardship. That morning I realized that despite physical pain, emotional pain, and voids in other areas of my life, I had much to be grateful for. In that moment, I saw a glimpse of God’s heart towards me, towards his children, and I got it.

Who wants to go out of their way to bless someone who is always complaining and whining about what they don’t have and who never acknowledges what they do have? As a parent I know first hand how irritating it is when my child complains to me about how much she doesn’t have when I am bending over backwards to make sure she has the bulk of what she wants and all of what she needs.

Almost immediately I could see a shift. It wasn’t physical at first. No, instead it started on the inside of me. How I saw my life was different. I made a promise to myself to give thanks every time I wanted to get frustrated and spew off words that would take me in the opposite direction from where I wanted to be. I decided to make it my business to see my blessings and when I couldn’t see them on my own, I prayed and asked God to show me the many ways He was blessing my life, so that I could be thankful. It was a very humbling experience.

It wasn’t long before channels of blessings began opening up and the floodgates began to pour out what I’d been believing for.

Here are some things to think about. There are spiritual laws that govern the universe that are always at work, whether we are aware of them or not. The Law of Attraction is one of them. With the Law of Attraction, what we focus on becomes a giant magnet that draws more of those experiences to us. If we are not mindful of our thoughts and words, we actually work against ourselves by focusing on what we don’t want instead of what we do want. Example. We say, “I don’t want to be late!” By thinking this way, we actually draw experiences that will slow us down getting to our destination. However, if we say, “I get everywhere I’m going on time,” it literally causes everything in your path that would slow you down, to move out of your way so that you can get where you’re going on time.

With that in mind, when we focus on what we don’t have and spend time complaining about our lack, it causes more lack to manifest. It’s like coating pipes with sludge and prevents water from flowing through freely. However, with practicing the gift of gratitude, and yes it is a gift, we are giving those pipes a good cleaning so that the channels of blessing and prosperity open up and flow freely.

No matter how challenging things are in your life right now, Beloved, if you just look a little deeper, you will see that you are blessed more than you know. Even if you start giving thanks for the breath you are able to breathe, that’s a wonderful place to start. For in truth, nothing would be possible without the breath of life.

Know this, no matter how difficult your life has been, this is not all that you are destined for. You have an amazing destiny before you, one full of blessings, peace, joy, happiness, and abundance. Believe it or not, more than you want to be blessed, God wants you to live in the fullness of all that He has for you. Determine this day to let gratitude lead you into the life you were created for. You are worth it!

Changing lives one word at a time...Tumika Patrice Cain

Originally published in Fresh Lifestyle Magazine, April 2017

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com