Today We Mourn

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Today We Mourn

Today we are burying Jack Pinto, 6, and Noah Pozner, 6, two students who were senselessly gunned down in a Connecticut elementary school.  Over the next week, we will bury many more people - children and adults alike.  And yes, I said we.  The likelihood that any of those 26 people are related to us is slim, but they are still a part of us.  It is not just their parents and family members who cry tears of hurt and are walking around in complete shock and disbelief.  An entire nation is numb, angered, saddened and confused.  We grieve the innocent loss of life just as these parents do.  Precious children  whose lives meant so much.  In them we see dreams that will go unfulfilled, destinies that will never be met.  And we mourn with their parents, their families.  Each Christmas will be a horrible reminder of all that was stolen from them on that fateful day.

For those of us who still have our  children, we pray silent prayers of thanksgiving so as not to be disrespectful to those who lost their loved ones.  We hold our children a little closer, overlook the quirks that usually drive us crazy.  Love a little harder, knowing tomorrow is promised, but not necessarily to each one of us.

It is hard to make sense of what has happened.  People are walking around in a fog, lost and bewildered trying to figure out where to go next.  Where do we go from here? their mournful eyes seem to say.  And though this makes no earthly sense, what we cannot afford to do is blame God for what has happened.  Even though He is sovereign, powerful and mighty, He has given to each one of us the gift of free will.  Yes, I said gift.  We are each afforded the right to make our own decisions.  And while some people use their power for good, others choose to use it for evil.  Still God is not to blame.

There are so many varying factors why this sort of thing happens, but there are no easy answers.  Sometimes it is mental illness that causes a person to have a distorted view of reality.  Other times it is pure hatred of a people, place or thing that drives one to act so irrationally.  And there are many other reasons in between.  I have seen many posts of people asking for prayer in the aftermath of this tragedy.  I have seen just as many people making harsh criticisms of those asking for prayer, saying the time to pray was before all of this happened.  How does that criticism help anyone?  Yes, prayer was needed  before this happened.  But prayer is definitely needed after.  There are families who have to try and put themselves back together.  There are the holidays upon us where they will not hear the joyful laughter of their loved ones.  There are the gifts that must be returned.  Rooms to clean out.  Personal belongings to part with.  And the vast emptiness the absence of their loved ones will leave in their hearts, maybe even for the remainder of their lives.  Yes, we need to pray.

And just as God loves those who were slain, he loves the killer, too.  There was a photo of Adam Lanza, that was his name, on the front cover of the New York Times yesterday.  It was his eyes that drew me.  They seemed blank.  Almost as if he weren't really present. He is a person, too.  We cannot dehumanize him just because he did the unthinkable.  Hurting people hurt people...and they hurt themselves, too.  Sometimes hurting people kill people and they kill themselves, too.  We may never know what was going on in his mind or why he killed his mother or the others.  But he is not to be forgotten either.  Neither should he be hated.  Let it be remembered that Jesus died for him, too.

Today, let's stop and think.  Let's see with eyes that are quickened with new sight.  The person standing behind you in line is your brother.  The checkout clerk is your sister.  From the person who has the most to the person who has the least, we are all connected.  We are one.  Created by the same God.  Knit together by the same hands who loves us all equally.  It is usually something so small that we allow to separate us.  We are more alike than we know.  We are more connected than we have ever really allowed ourselves to admit.

Let's pray for each other, that we begin to see with the eyes of Christ.  That we begin to love with the heart of Christ.  And that we begin to heal as a nation one person, one family, one street, one city, one state at a time so that we may all be one.  And may we pray the prayers of strength, courage and healing to all those who were affected by what happened that fateful Friday.

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.  Matthew 5:4

Changing lives one word at a time...Tumika Patrice Cain

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com

Why I Do What I Do

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Why I Do What I Do

Someone posed the question "why do you do what you do?  Why do you write?"  It caused me to have to search deep for the real reason I blog and publish books.  Caused me to have to ask myself what is it that I ultimately hope to accomplish by sharing my thoughts.

I have been sexually, physically and emotionally abused by the men in my life who were supposed to protect and cover me.  It left me fractured, wounded and unable to attract the kinds of relationships I truly deserved.  I saw myself through the eyes of my abusers, but there was something in me that wanted so much more.  Problem was, I didn't know how to get myself where I wanted to be. 

After many trials, lots of therapy, soul searching, fasting, praying and researching, my life began to change.  When I got a revelation of who I was, it was then time to learn how to treat myself and demand that others treat me how I deserved to be treated.  The minister in me yearns to see others set free and not stuck in cycles of abuse - self inflicted or otherwise.  So many things I observed watching the women in my family and in my neighborhoods who took so much off of the men in their lives.  It affected me.  Many worked hard.  Others worked the system.  Some had degrees.  Still others were high school dropouts.  All were struggling to make sense of their lives.  All longed to have someone love and cherish them.  All wondered why love, tenderness and genuine affection eluded them.

I have been my sisters.  I have worked jobs I hated just to make ends meet.  I have settled for far less than I deserve in relationships - whether that be familial, platonic or intimate.  Even at work, I have made the grade, but never the money I should have been making.  My family has not supported me, yet always had their hands out wanting something.  I have been the single parent struggling to keep it all in balance.  I have cared for an ailing child with the bare minimal of support.  I have had issues finding quality, affordable childcare.  I have wondered how I was going to make ends meet.  I have put my childs needs and even her wants over my needs.  My own needs have gone unmet and pretty much ignored by those who didn't care and by those who did care, but who were so empty on their own, they had nothing to give.  So I had to figure it out on my own.

Even as a young child it was just me.  I was alone a lot.  Single mother working and in school trying to make a better life for us.  Absentee father.  Not much family support to help my mother with me or for me to turn to when I had a need.  Before I knew HIM, He kept me, sustained me and didn't let the journey destroy me even though I have been damaged to the point of being on spiritual and emotional life support.  But I made it!

So my message for other women is "you are worthy, you have value and you can make it, too."  I am living proof that when you change everyone around you has to change too.  They just can't deal with you the same because you are different.  And there are times when the strength is needed to grow on without them if they make the choice not to grow with you.

When things were at their bleakest, I have wanted to give up, give in or even walk out of my life.  I have had series of starts and stops that left me so frustrated that I thought why do I even bother trying.  I have had dreams ripped right out of my hands by mean spirited people who I knew got pleasure out of seeing me stumble.  At times, I thought my deepest desires would never come true.  Somewhere along the journey I forgot how to dream. 

It was my dreams for a better tomorrow that kept me going in my youth.  After the dreams faded, then died, what did I have that made this journey worth living?  I would look into my daughter's face and want so much more for her than what she saw happening in my life.  Through it all I would tell her she was so much more.  She has seen me with tears in my eyes because I was doing everything I had to but nothing I wanted to in order to keep things going and she would say "just don't cry momma."  I would become even more determined to rise above where I was, for why should her memories of me be of mournful tears in my eyes? 

So when I offer a word, it is deliberate.  It is meant to shoot a ray of light to some woman who may be at her end.  It is to give what I so desperately needed, but so rarely received.  It is to tell her "You can make it. Despite where you have been, YOU CAN MAKE IT! And not only can you make it, but you can thrive and have life more abundantly if you just do a little work."  (For we all work at something.  What we work on might as well be life affirming).  It is to tell her that she is not alone, nor is she being judged.  For truly I do understand her pain, her struggle and she is not alone.  It is to put her hand into that of her Maker and encourage her to tap into the true and only real source of her strength.

Changing lives one word at at time...Tumika Patrice Cain
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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com