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The Price of Love
Ladies, we’ve been devalued and undervalued so long
that we’ve learned to devalue and undervalue ourselves. The mistreatment we’ve suffered at the hands
of others, sometimes makes us feel as if we have to put up with anything to
have a mate in our lives. This couldn’t
be farther from the truth. Take a look
at the list below. If any of the
following are happening in the relationship you are currently in, it might be
time to reassess.
1. If
he is asking you to get high and do drugs with him knowing you are not into
that, he is NOT the one.
2. If
he is asking you to allow him to take his frustrations out on you by
physically, sexually, emotionally and verbally abusing you, he is NOT the one.
3. If
he is asking you to sacrifice and compromise your morals and values to engage
in risky, demeaning sex or pimping you out to his friends, family or business
associates, he is definitely NOT the one.
4. If
he is laying up in your home, driving your car, eating your food, expecting you
to take care of him while he is not contributing anything to your welfare, he
is NOT the one.
5. If
he is asking you to neglect or mistreat your children to be with him or he is
mistreating and abusing your children, he is obviously NOT the one.
6. If
he is asking you to engage in illegal activities (robbing banks/people/stores,
selling drugs, prostitution, running illegal scams, etc), he is NOT the one!
If dealing with him is hurting you, it certainly
should NOT be pleasuring him! So often we let our hearts lead us into
situations our minds would protect us from.
Bottom line is: feelings lie. We
let the fear of being alone drive us to making decisions that are nowhere near
what we have been designed to put up with.
But remember this: God has not given you the spirit of fear, but instead
power, love and a sound mind. You don’t
need to make decisions based on fear when the soundness of your mind is telling
you that what you are in is not good or best for you. The soundness of your mind will give you
wisdom how to get out of these dangerous and self-defeating relationships. Love is an action word. The love you have for yourself should lead
you to attract those who show their love to you in healthy and life-affirming
ways. If someone is deliberately hurting
you, obviously that is not love. You
have also been equipped with all the power you need to get your life back on
track, if you have veered off. Don’t let
the fear of what might be cause you to stay in a situation that is literally
killing you, your self-worth and self-esteem. Instead of choosing to live in fear, choose to trust
that God knows every need you have. If
you trust his timing, he will lead you to the very one who will be an asset to
your life.
Truth: Men (not just males) build up their women – a
man will not tear his woman down. And
real talk, there are many males out there who want the title of MAN but have
done nothing to earn it. Even when we
look at other cultures, there are actions that the males in their groups have
to do to earn the title and respect to be called a man. Contrary to popular belief, sexing up a bunch
of women does not qualify as a rights-of-passage into manhood. It takes far more than having a penis to be
counted as a man.
In case you are wondering, a man does the following:
1. He
protects his family
2. He
provides for his family
3. He
sets appropriate boundaries for his family
4. He
leads his family by example
5. He
yields himself to God and follows the direction of Christ’s lordship
6. He
has one woman (his wife)
7. He
provides an environment for his wife to be her best self and encourages her
8. He
builds up with his mouth
9. He
sacrifices for his wife and kids
10. He
considers the needs of his family (wife and kids) over his own selfish desires
11. He
loves with his actions, realizing that love is a choice
12. He
leaves a legacy for future generations
So while you are waiting on a man to find you and
make you his wife, keep working on yourself.
Figure out what you really want and then ask God for it. Make sure that who you are lines up with what
you are asking for from someone else. In
other words, be what you hope to attract.
Be prepared and know that a counterfeit will cross your path while you
are waiting on your blessing to manifest.
Recognize that person for who he is and keep it moving. WAIT for what you have asked for. It may not come in the time frame you want it
to, but it will be so worth the wait to get what you deserve. Know this, he is being prepared, just as you
are. The time of waiting is there to
perfect the two of you into a more fitting union. The real blessing is worth the wait…
Changing
lives one word at a time….Tumika Patrice Cain
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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality,
and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing &
Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing
services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and
abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many
publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika,
her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com
and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com
