Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The Price of Love

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The Price of Love

Ladies, we’ve been devalued and undervalued so long that we’ve learned to devalue and undervalue ourselves.  The mistreatment we’ve suffered at the hands of others, sometimes makes us feel as if we have to put up with anything to have a mate in our lives.  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.  Take a look at the list below.  If any of the following are happening in the relationship you are currently in, it might be time to reassess.

1.      If he is asking you to get high and do drugs with him knowing you are not into that, he is NOT the one.
2.      If he is asking you to allow him to take his frustrations out on you by physically, sexually, emotionally and verbally abusing you, he is NOT the one.
3.      If he is asking you to sacrifice and compromise your morals and values to engage in risky, demeaning sex or pimping you out to his friends, family or business associates, he is definitely NOT the one.
4.      If he is laying up in your home, driving your car, eating your food, expecting you to take care of him while he is not contributing anything to your welfare, he is NOT the one.
5.      If he is asking you to neglect or mistreat your children to be with him or he is mistreating and abusing your children, he is obviously NOT the one.
6.      If he is asking you to engage in illegal activities (robbing banks/people/stores, selling drugs, prostitution, running illegal scams, etc), he is NOT the one!

If dealing with him is hurting you, it certainly should NOT be pleasuring him! So often we let our hearts lead us into situations our minds would protect us from.  Bottom line is: feelings lie.  We let the fear of being alone drive us to making decisions that are nowhere near what we have been designed to put up with.  But remember this: God has not given you the spirit of fear, but instead power, love and a sound mind.  You don’t need to make decisions based on fear when the soundness of your mind is telling you that what you are in is not good or best for you.  The soundness of your mind will give you wisdom how to get out of these dangerous and self-defeating relationships.  Love is an action word.  The love you have for yourself should lead you to attract those who show their love to you in healthy and life-affirming ways.  If someone is deliberately hurting you, obviously that is not love.  You have also been equipped with all the power you need to get your life back on track, if you have veered off.  Don’t let the fear of what might be cause you to stay in a situation that is literally killing you, your self-worth and self-esteem.  Instead of choosing to live in fear, choose to trust that God knows every need you have.  If you trust his timing, he will lead you to the very one who will be an asset to your life.

Truth: Men (not just males) build up their women – a man will not tear his woman down.  And real talk, there are many males out there who want the title of MAN but have done nothing to earn it.  Even when we look at other cultures, there are actions that the males in their groups have to do to earn the title and respect to be called a man.  Contrary to popular belief, sexing up a bunch of women does not qualify as a rights-of-passage into manhood.  It takes far more than having a penis to be counted as a man.

In case you are wondering, a man does the following:
1.      He protects his family
2.      He provides for his family
3.      He sets appropriate boundaries for his family
4.      He leads his family by example
5.      He yields himself to God and follows the direction of Christ’s lordship
6.      He has one woman (his wife)
7.      He provides an environment for his wife to be her best self and encourages her
8.      He builds up with his mouth
9.      He sacrifices for his wife and kids
10.  He considers the needs of his family (wife and kids) over his own selfish desires
11.  He loves with his actions, realizing that love is a choice
12.  He leaves a legacy for future generations

So while you are waiting on a man to find you and make you his wife, keep working on yourself.  Figure out what you really want and then ask God for it.  Make sure that who you are lines up with what you are asking for from someone else.  In other words, be what you hope to attract.  Be prepared and know that a counterfeit will cross your path while you are waiting on your blessing to manifest.  Recognize that person for who he is and keep it moving.  WAIT for what you have asked for.  It may not come in the time frame you want it to, but it will be so worth the wait to get what you deserve.  Know this, he is being prepared, just as you are.  The time of waiting is there to perfect the two of you into a more fitting union.  The real blessing is worth the wait…

Changing lives one word at a time….Tumika Patrice Cain
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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com

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