After the Rain...: November 2017

Thursday, November 30, 2017

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

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The Gift that Keeps on Giving

The holidays are right around the corner. It’s a time filled with happiness and cheer. People are especially kind to each other. There’s good food, great company, parties and festivities. Hearts are especially open…and so are checkbooks! Don’t think that retailers don’t know this. Not only do they know this, they count on it. Research shows that much of our spending is tied to emotions. Commercials are geared towards tapping into our happy feelings, eliciting a response that makes us want to spend money, purchasing the advertised items. Of course, once we’re in the stores, colorful displays, cleverly placed lights, pleasant scents and friendly sales people trigger us to purchase items on impulse. It’s all a very well planned design to get the public to part with their hard earned money. It works too. I am just as guilty as the next person of coming home loaded down with bags of unplanned purchases that I just “couldn’t resist.”

This takes me right to my next point. As African Americans, we spend a disproportionate amount of money on disposable goods than other nationalities of people in the nation. According to African-Americans: Demographic and Consumer Spending Trends, 10th Edition, Blacks spent $1.3 Trillion in 2016. This is absolutely astonishing, especially considering we are only 14.5% of the United States population, per the 2016 U.S. Census Bureau and that nearly 30% of our population lives in poverty. An even more disturbing number is that 55% of our households are headed by single women, and of those households 46% are living in poverty (www.BlackDemographics.com). Major corporations use the findings from Target Market News, a company that studies the buying trends of Black people each year, to target their marketing and advertising towards us specifically.

Alas all is not lost. I don’t bring these statistics up to discourage you. There is such power in those numbers, just as there is great power in knowing our own buying power.

It is no secret that the disparity between black and white wealth in this nation is significant. Yet, we see by the numbers above that we do have resources to spend. One of the major differences between black and white wealth is what we do with the resources we have coming in. Lots of research has been spent on the buying trends of Black Americans. While we are very likely to spend our hard-earned dollars on expensive items of no real value, i.e. expensive gym shoes, designer clothes and purses, pricey cosmetics and salon services, etc., we don’t own many of the companies we spend our money with. I am not encouraging that we don’t shop. No, to the contrary, I am merely suggesting that we become more mindful and strategic about where we allow our dollars to go. Consider the following:

For every brand that you enjoy using, purchase some shares of stock in the company. This way, not only are you adding to their bottom line, but you are adding to your own future wealth as well. Even small investments over time grow to become significant to the overall quality of your life.

It is often perceived that it takes a substantial amount of money to invest in stocks and mutual funds. What would you say if I told you that it was possible to begin investing with as little as $5? Hard to believe, isn’t it? Just think that forgoing one fast food value meal each week could potentially set you up for greater wealth in some years to come. If you were to take a look at where your money goes, I’d be pretty certain that you could find other areas where the money is going to nothing significant and could be better served being invested.

There are a number of app-based programs that you can add to your smart phone and begin investing in your future, and that of your children and grandchildren, today. I don’t know about you, but that thought is so exciting to me. Here are a few companies to look into that may prove helpful on your quest to financial greatness. Stash allows you to buy into mutual funds and ETFs with as little as $5. Robinhood sells stocks that are posted on the New York Stock Exchange with minimal fees per transaction. For stocks that are listed on other stock exchanges, there are companies like Ameritrade, eTrade, and Scottrade that lets you purchase stocks for a mere $7 per transaction. What’s nice about these companies is that you can set up investment accounts for your children and grandchildren and get them started, even while you are building your own nest egg. Other companies to look at are Betterment and Wealthfront.

While you are beginning (or adding to) your investment portfolio, why not include your family in the process. It’s never too early to teach financial literacy to your children. When they come to you asking that you purchase the newest ‘hot’ item that all their friends have, make this a teachable moment. Research the company and put a plan in place to start owning pieces of stock in that company. Even if all you can purchase is one share, that’s still one share more than you had before. Plan to make consistent investments and to build up your stock portfolio. Setting up your accounts to invest automatically puts you way ahead of the game, because it’s money that you won’t have on hand to spend. You’ll be amazed at how quickly you begin to amass wealth. Compound interest earned over time is an investor’s best friend.

This year while you are making your holiday shopping lists, include the gifts that keep on giving in the form of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds.

To learn more about investing and money matters as a whole, try The Black Business School. This school is internet based and offers a wide range of classes for people of all ages. Including a special program in place just for children. What could be more exciting…and beneficial…than to make financial planning a family affair! http://bit.ly/2hxhruQ

Changing lives one word at a time…Tumika Patrice Cain

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com

Killing the Green-Eyed Monster

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Killing the Green-Eyed Monster

People come into our lives for a myriad of reasons. None of us is in exactly the same place as another person. Even when there are similarities in one station of a person’s life, it can be vastly different in another. It is so easy to look at another person and envy what they have, resent how far they’ve come, or begrudge their success. There are a few things wrong with this thinking. Let’s explore it.

For starters, although we are not all starting at the same place or have access to the same resources, what we do have in common is a universal God who operates according to universal principles. What makes this such a powerful tool to hold on to is the fact that the laws and power of the universe work for anyone who is willing to use them. Think on that for a moment. You may not have been born into a family of wealth or means. There may be no trust fund with your name on it. You may not have any formal education, and may even be from a family where for generations education has been denied or not sought out. However, none of this matters in the grand spectrum of how life operates. While it may take you longer to get as far as the person born or married into a family of wealth and privilege, I am a firm believer that as we continue on this life’s journey, everything we need is on our paths just waiting on us to get there.

Another aspect of begrudging others what is theirs is this: How do we know what we can have or aspire to if we don’t see it first? The very one’s being looked at through eyes of longing, or even envy, are there to show you that you too can have what they have. Don’t despise the person who has a long, lasting happy marriage or the person with the large publishing contract or the person who has risen from rags to riches. Instead look at their lives and know that if you can see it, you can achieve it. They are there to motivate you, not discourage you. So be encouraged today, Beloved, and know that the universe is orchestrating on your behalf…even right now!

Finally, and probably the most important reason it is not okay to envy those who have more than you is this: you cannot receive from one whom you envy. The person may be willing to share everything they know, but your negative feelings towards them will keep you from receiving all that is available to you. Do you want to know what the biggest difference is between you and the person who has what you want? It is simply they know something you don’t know. That may seem so simplistic, however, that is the piece of the puzzle many people miss. Instead of studying the person, requesting a meeting to talk to the person, or doing some research, they get stuck in their own negative feelings and forget to do the basics. The answer you need is staring you right in the face. Wonder what it is? It is simply asking for answers to the things you don’t know.

There is power in a person’s testimony. How often do we allow others to just sit down and tell us their story, without interrupting? There is much to be learned, to be gleaned, from being in the presence of other’s greatness and truly listening. Each day we are presented with opportunities to learn something. Not all learning is done in a classroom with chalk and chalkboard. Some of the most significant lessons we learn in life are the ones we happen upon. No, I don’t believe in happenstance. I think that God is far too strategic in his dealings with us to allow random things to happen. For everything that transpires, for everyone we meet, there is something we are to get from the experience.

What does this have to do with you and envy? Allowing yourself to be stuck in envy cuts off the flow of learning, the flow of blessingd. It is like clogging up the pipes of your life meant to bring blessings, knowledge, and wisdom and filling them instead with tar or sludge. Eventually it slows down, or even stops altogether, what can be received. The wisdom and knowledge of life is available to us all. We must only reach out and grab it. It requires being willing to put pride and ego aside and accept that we don’t know everything. It means we will have to be the student instead of the teacher sometimes. It means that we will have to ask the questions and learn from someone else more knowledgeable than we are.

The person who has that thing you want has much more than the coveted object of your desire. What they have is wisdom how to get it. Their wisdom is priceless.

The next time you see someone who is flowing in a space far beyond where you are, don’t automatically look at them and see the item as out of reach. Instead, stop and ask yourself what is it that they know that you don’t know. If the person happens to be a celebrity or hard to reach public figure type, fear not. Many of these people have biographies and autobiographies you can read. More than likely there are a number of articles and interviews that you can watch or read to learn more about them. Start there. Learn what you can about the person and their journey, then see what lessons they’ve endured that you can apply to your life. When you are comfortable, perhaps you can request to have a meeting with the person. It may or may not be the highest profile person, but is there someone local who has a similar thing? If so, reach out to them. You’d be surprised at who is willing to share time and wisdom with you. They may be willing to give you an hour of their time. And for those that are willing, don’t squander it by talking about yourself. This is a chance to your to sit at the feet of a master and learn. Have a list of questions ready to ask them about the subject you desire. Take notes. Really listen to what they are saying. Thank them for their time, and then follow up with a written thank you note.

If you are wondering is it important to do all of that. My question to you is: how badly do you want it? You can’t do what you’ve always done and get a different result. In order to see change, you must first change. So go ahead and invest in yourself by studying the lives and habits of those who have succeeded in an area where you desire to. You can do it.

The first place to start is by putting your envy and negative emotions aside so that you may acknowledge there is something that you need to learn. Then do it. You are worth the effort it takes to change. You are worth the effort it takes to make your dreams come true!

Changing lives one word at a time...Tumika Patrice Cain

Originally published in Fresh Lifestyle Magazine, June 2017

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Gratitude Makes the Difference

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Gratitude Makes the Difference

Have you ever had those times when no matter what you did, you just couldn’t seem to get a breakthrough? You’ve spent time fasting, praying, and making lists of what you want. The vision board is done. You’ve named it and claimed it, yet the realization of your dreams continue to elude you. At this point, you’re tired, frustrated, and ready to scream. During your darkest times, you may even rant and rave, curse the universe (and possibly everyone else too!), and throw in the towel. You’re on the verge of giving up, convinced that all the things you’ve been taught are a lie and that dream fulfillment is just not in your cards. Hold on before you throw all of your years and effort into the rubbish bin.

There is a small key to turning your situations around that makes all the difference. It’s gratitude. Oh before you blow me off and roll your eyes feeling as if you’re about to be assigned one more thing to do that won’t bear fruit…just give me a minute.

For starters, it’s important to know that I have been where you are. I have had the life where it seemed on the surface to me that nothing was working. Relationship issues, parenting issues, issues with my parents, financial hardship, physical ailments, a job I hated, no real success in the areas where I wanted them most. Shall I go on? You name it, I had it.

One morning while traveling to work, and let me say when you’re traveling to work in the middle of the night where there’s just you and a few other people on the road, there’s lots of time to think, I remember just praying and talking to God about how unfulfilled I was. As I talked to Him, an overwhelming urge to be thankful came over me. It was like I’d been given the opportunity to see my life through a different set of eyes. I may not have the job of my dreams, but I was employed and in those moments since working there able to pay all of my bills. Issues with my child were very frustrating, but I had been blessed with a child. My parents, though frustrating, loved me and were still alive. I had not achieved the kind of success I wanted with my creative endeavors, but opportunities presented themselves to me daily to do things I’d only dreamed of doing. My relationship status was far from what I wanted it to be, but I could truly stop and be thankful that some of those men from my past had moved on. I was better off with them not being in my life. For the first time I could see that being single was a blessing and not a curse. Sometimes a partial thing is not better than nothing at all.

Then something clicked inside of me. It was like the more I looked at my life and found things to be thankful for, the more circumstances revealed themselves to me for which to give thanks. While the promises had not manifested in my life the way I thought they would have by that time, there was still the promise itself to be thankful for.

The floodgates had opened up. During that hour-long car ride in the wee hours of the morning, I felt my spirit shift from depressed, frustrated, and angry, to optimistic and hopeful. For the first time in my life, I realized how blessed I am…and have been all along…even in the midst of extreme hardship. That morning I realized that despite physical pain, emotional pain, and voids in other areas of my life, I had much to be grateful for. In that moment, I saw a glimpse of God’s heart towards me, towards his children, and I got it.

Who wants to go out of their way to bless someone who is always complaining and whining about what they don’t have and who never acknowledges what they do have? As a parent I know first hand how irritating it is when my child complains to me about how much she doesn’t have when I am bending over backwards to make sure she has the bulk of what she wants and all of what she needs.

Almost immediately I could see a shift. It wasn’t physical at first. No, instead it started on the inside of me. How I saw my life was different. I made a promise to myself to give thanks every time I wanted to get frustrated and spew off words that would take me in the opposite direction from where I wanted to be. I decided to make it my business to see my blessings and when I couldn’t see them on my own, I prayed and asked God to show me the many ways He was blessing my life, so that I could be thankful. It was a very humbling experience.

It wasn’t long before channels of blessings began opening up and the floodgates began to pour out what I’d been believing for.

Here are some things to think about. There are spiritual laws that govern the universe that are always at work, whether we are aware of them or not. The Law of Attraction is one of them. With the Law of Attraction, what we focus on becomes a giant magnet that draws more of those experiences to us. If we are not mindful of our thoughts and words, we actually work against ourselves by focusing on what we don’t want instead of what we do want. Example. We say, “I don’t want to be late!” By thinking this way, we actually draw experiences that will slow us down getting to our destination. However, if we say, “I get everywhere I’m going on time,” it literally causes everything in your path that would slow you down, to move out of your way so that you can get where you’re going on time.

With that in mind, when we focus on what we don’t have and spend time complaining about our lack, it causes more lack to manifest. It’s like coating pipes with sludge and prevents water from flowing through freely. However, with practicing the gift of gratitude, and yes it is a gift, we are giving those pipes a good cleaning so that the channels of blessing and prosperity open up and flow freely.

No matter how challenging things are in your life right now, Beloved, if you just look a little deeper, you will see that you are blessed more than you know. Even if you start giving thanks for the breath you are able to breathe, that’s a wonderful place to start. For in truth, nothing would be possible without the breath of life.

Know this, no matter how difficult your life has been, this is not all that you are destined for. You have an amazing destiny before you, one full of blessings, peace, joy, happiness, and abundance. Believe it or not, more than you want to be blessed, God wants you to live in the fullness of all that He has for you. Determine this day to let gratitude lead you into the life you were created for. You are worth it!

Changing lives one word at a time...Tumika Patrice Cain

Originally published in Fresh Lifestyle Magazine, April 2017

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Start Where You Are

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Start Where You Are

You have had a dream burning inside of you for a long time. A business you want to start. A book you want to write. A change in your career. Ending a relationship that no longer fulfills. Traveling the world. Yet the dream lies dormant. When you think about it, there is a sense of disappointment and even frustration because it has lingered for so long, and nothing seems to be putting you any closer to seeing it manifested in your life. Inside, you wonder, what’s the use of dreaming when nothing ever comes to pass?

Beloved, all is not lost. That dream you have is still there because it waits to be fulfilled. More than you want to see the fruition of that desire, feel the tangible results of your hard work, the dream in you pushes you along, wanting, needing to reach the masses. You see, dream fulfillment isn’t just about you or I. There are countless others who benefit when your dream becomes a reality. Even if it is only to give someone else hope to dream or an additional push to keep going to make their own dreams come true. Your dream fulfilled has the power to change lives.

Trouble is, the reason you have not gotten where you want to be yet is due to a level of inactivity. In your mind you have erected seemingly insurmountable walls. As you look around your life you see the obstacles that are in the way of you doing what you want to do. You are working so much and have very little time. You are a single parent with too much responsibility and pressure to add one more thing to your already full plate. You are too young, too old, too thin, too fat, too short, too tall. You’re married, divorced, single. You don’t have enough money. What’s interesting, Beloved, is all of those can be blockers to dream fulfillment only if you let it. There is always something you can be doing, right now, to push you farther along the path.

It’s important to know that manifesting dreams doesn’t just happen. It takes work. Sometimes lots of it. It takes determination, drive, and a willingness to chart a course. It also takes a level of honesty and authenticity. Authentic living is honest living. It is being willing to sit down in front of the mirror and take a real assessment of who you are, where you are, what you need, what you need to work on in order to get yourself where you want to go.

Never allow yourself to feel as if there is nothing that you can’t do. Right now, in this moment, no matter how dreary things may seem, there is something you can do about getting closer to your dreams. Right now, I encourage you to do the following things:

1. Make a list of everything you want to accomplish. It doesn’t matter how miniscule or grand your list is. The point is to see it written down. A dream is just a dream until you write it down. Then it becomes a goal. Something measurable, obtainable. Feel free to be as practical and grandiose as you want. You can even write down the things that seem impossible. Once it is written, it becomes easier to locate yourself.

2. Locate yourself. Now that you have your dreams written down, it is easier to see where you are in relation to what is on your list. As you look at the list, what is the item on there that burns the brightest inside of you? That is the one to focus on first. Write down what you feel are all the obstacles that are standing in the way of you doing that thing.

3. Get your confession straight. Even though what stands before you may seem impossible to accomplish, Beloved, let me remind you that any journey starts with putting one foot in front of the other. Once you get started, it’s no time at all before you are making big strides and covering significant distance. One of the ways to do this is to take every item on the list that seems like an obstacle and turn it into a positive confession. Example, if you feel that you have no support, your confession becomes “I have all the support I need. The entire universe supports me. I am successful.” Our tongues are like a rudder, a tiny instrument that holds the power to take a large ship in any direction. The rudder of our lives is our tongue. It can lead you into the life you’ve always wanted or away from the life you’ve always wanted. It’s up to you. Choose to make your words line up with what you desire, not what you don’t desire.

4. Write the vision. Once you have decided where you want to go and what you want to do, make yourself an actual goal list. Build your confession around that list. You’ll want to place it where it will be visible to you, so that you can see it, think on it, and remind yourself daily what you are working towards. Writing the vision becomes an absolutely necessary part of the process because there will be times while you are on the journey when you may feel frustrated, discouraged, angry, and like throwing in the towel. These are the times you will need to reinforce your faith.

5. Do the work. It’s important to know that the path from A to B is a winding one. While you are working on the physical steps to manifesting your dreams, you will simultaneously be working on the internal blockers that will interfere with what you’re trying to do. There are mindsets and old patterns and behaviors that have to be destroyed and rebuilt in order to equip you to stay in the new place you are going. You can’t take old mindsets and dysfunctional behaviors with you and think that you will be successful once you reach the place of destiny fulfillment. The old stuff will cause it all to fall at your feet. In order to prevent that, be willing to do the work.

6. Start where you are. Beloved, there are no perfect set of circumstances. Many times people are sitting around waiting on one thing or another to ‘right’ itself before they get started. This is a waste of precious time. There is always something that can be done right now, in whatever circumstances you find yourself. Don’t despise your day of small beginnings. If all you have is five dollars to invest in your dream, invest the five and be glad that you were able to start. If you keep adding to it, before too long you’ll see a sizeable nest egg waiting for you. If you only have a few minutes, give what you can. Do some research. Clean out your space. Write the program. Learn the business. Take a class. The point is, there is always something you can be doing right now that is in line with getting you to manifest your dreams.

7. Know that you are worth it. Life is for the living. Your life is a gift. It is a gift on borrowed time though, so don’t waste it. Each day look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are worth the effort it will take to make your dreams come true.

Be encouraged, Beloved, nothing worthwhile that we see was manifested in a day. It takes time. The time and journey are for your benefit to prepare you for where you are going. Take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves to you. As you begin to work the process, the people around you will change as you attract more likeminded individuals. You’re on your way. Keep going. It’s going to be great!

Changing lives one word at a time...Tumika Patrice Cain

Originally published in Fresh Lifestyle Magazine, March 2017

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