All That Glitters

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All That Glitters

All too often I see women lay aside the truth of who they are to receive the lies or misguided opinions of another.  And they accept those lies as truth. 


The truth is women were created to be a gift to their partner, to their children, to the body of Christ.  To the world.  Life bearers in body, in speech, in actions, in deeds.  And so it appalls me when I see the callous disregard by which we are treated, that we accept as the norm.  We have forgotten who we are.  Forgotten that it was the Lord's own hands that formed us and presented us in the form of Eve to Adam.  Eve, who stands symbolically as all womankind, she was his gift.  Even as we today are gifts to this world.  But we don’t see it.

Too many days of being disregarded.  Too many nights of being abandoned.  Too much time between a gentle touch and a kind word.  Just too much.  And we have internalized it to mean that we are not worthy of anything more……despite the silent screaming going on inside of us that begs to be heard saying that we do.

And so instead of looking in the mirror and reminding ourselves that we are wonderfully and fearfully made, we criticize the miniscule pimple and magnify the imperceptible blemish.  Instead of hugging ourselves tightly and crooning words of love into our own selves, we belittle ourselves and speak ill about ourselves…regurgitating the foul words that have been spewed at us from people who were, at the very least, unaware.  Having forgotten that none of us is perfect, including those who are trying to push the idea of perfection on us. 

Myles Munro said it best, “when you don’t know the purpose of a thing, it is inevitable that you will abuse it.”  To abuse is to abnormally use something.  How does this apply to what I am saying about you, about me…it is in our not knowing our own purpose, not knowing our own selves that we inevitably end up mistreating ourselves or allowing others to mistreat us, too.  That mistreatment comes in so many forms: unhealthy relationships, poor diet, lack of exercise, allowing folks to bring their drama into our inner sanctum….you name it.

It is not necessary to make ourselves over to be some idea or image that a man has in his mind that he wants.  Who you are, just as you are, is enough.  In fact, it’s more than enough.  How do you compete with a fantasy?  Fantasies aren’t real.  All you can do is be the best you that you can be.  So often we see people go for the spectacular and sensational.  While the quietly brilliant gem is right there in plain sight.  All that glitters is not gold.  Sometimes it’s tinsel….and you can get that from the dollar store.  It is not necessary for you to make yourself over to shine as bright and sparkly as tinsel when it is not an item of substance or value.  Nothing  precious in it.  It stands as an illusion…giving the appearance of brilliance and glamour.  But a gem is precious.  Even a diamond in the rough is STILL a diamond….a priceless treasure that has been produced by much pressure over time.  And it takes a skilled artisan to pull out ALL of the beauty that lies in that mass of rock.  It takes someone who is skilled, who knows just what to look for, and who has the patience of a trained eye to find it.  Someone with a quiet spirit to hear that which has not been spoken, but which speaks so clearly.

Ladies, it is time to stop throwing your pearls before swine.  To stop giving up your power to someone who isn’t worthy to have it.  Love yourself just as you are, right where you are.  And despite what men say….let a woman fully come into her own, where she feels wonderful and lovely and valuable and precious in her own right, according to her own terms, and he will seek her out.  In the midst of that seeking, he discovers that SHE (in all of her natural and rare beauty) is his fantasy…not anything he has been fed from the media, not what he has seen in a Playboy magazine.  Not even anything his mind may have conjured up. 

The greatest gift to the world we can give, is to be the very best that we can be.  So go ahead and embrace your brilliance…whether you are a diamond, a pearl or an emerald….or perhaps even one of those rare stones we hardly ever hear anything about.  There is beauty in each one…as they were created to be.  Just as there is beauty in each one of us…just as we were created to be.  Define your life today and if you don’t know where to start, start with a conversation with your Maker and ask him to show you yourself through HIS eyes.  Then ask him to help you get rid of any thoughts or images of yourself that are tied to lies or untruths that others have fed you.  And begin to build from there.

You are a rare and precious gem…embrace your power and own it!

Changing lives one word at a time…Tumika Patrice Cain

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com

Just "F" It!

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Just "F" It!

“It’s about time you start using more “F” words in your day!  FREEDOM is the best “F” word!  FAVOR is another! FAITH is the linchpin!  “F” it!” ~ Sandy Krakowski

When I saw this post on Facebook today my immediate reaction was to burst out laughing….thinking the whole time… I love this!  Then I started thinking and wondering how many more liberating “F” words are there to add to our daily vocabulary, actions, and attitudes that will empower us to fulfill our personal greatness.

Forgive – Though forgiveness can be a hard one to put into practice, it is absolutely necessary if we ever want to reach the next level.  Many times we make the mistake of thinking that forgiving means that we are excusing the person of the offending behavior.  Quite the contrary.  When we forgive, we are releasing ourselves from the spirit of offense so that the person no longer has any power over us.  As I write this, I am a mere 24 hours out of one of the worst betrayals I have experienced in my life.  You think when you give your all to a situation that you will come out on top and be appreciated by those whom you have helped.  You never think that they will turn the table and stab you in the back.  But even in the midst of that….”F” it!  Nothing that has happened is worth my not making it where I am en route to – and nothing is worth you not making it either.  So to each of them….I say “I forgive you and I am keeping it moving.  Best wishes to all of you!”

Fun – There is a time for everything under the sun is what the Bible tells us.  There is a time to be serious and there is a time for fun!  There is lots of good, clean fun to be had here on earth, if we just let ourselves experience it.  What makes you laugh?  What makes your heart feel light?  Well….then go on ahead and do it!  Have some fun.  After all….a merry heart is good medicine!

Forget – Replaying events from your past keeps you stuck in what happened.  Our latter shall be greater than our former, but not if we continue to keep living in the past.  An occasional reminisce of the good of yesteryear is effective in keeping gratitude close at hand.  It is also a tool that we use to keep our minds and hearts full of faith as we are awaiting manifestation.  On the other hand, replaying times of pain and sadness in your life will take your spirit to a low place.  It’s like reliving it all over again.  Who needs that kind of pain again?  So do yourself a favor and just “F”-agetabout it!

Frivolity – It is just good sense to do something for yourself sometimes that is just plain frivolous.  We all need a little pick me up from time to time.  Even God gives us what we might see as small and not very meaningful just to make us happy.  A piece of your favorite candy; a massage; a cold lemonade while basking in the sun.  There is nothing wrong in taking a little time out for yourself and doing something not so serious for a while.

Focus – Being clear about what you want and the path you take to get there will help you to focus your sights on the target.  Do like racehorses and wear blinders to help keep the distractions out of view so that you may reach the finish line.  You’ll be glad that you did.

Fine tune – Sometimes we are spread too thin.  While having many gifts and goals is a great thing.  It may not be the best idea to try and do everything all at once.  There are times and seasons for every purpose.  Figure out which season you are in and function in that place.  And if you don’t know how to figure it out just…..

Fast – Having a regular fasting and prayer life will help keep fleshly reactions at bay.  If it seems like you just can’t get where you want to go or that there is something in the way of your answer, a simple fast may be just the thing you need to clear the channels so that you may hear more clearly and get solid direction for your life.

Family – We don’t get to choose our families, but there is still something there to learn and glean no matter how dysfunctional they may seem.  If you can come away from each experience having learned something….even if it was what NOT to do….it was not wasted time.  And remember not to get so busy being busy that you forget to tell those you love “I love you!”

Friends – For those fortunate enough to have the privilege of real friends, count your blessings.  Many of us have friends that seem more like family than our relatives…and that is okay.  Spend time with your friends and pour into those relationships.  They are in your life for a reason…don’t forget to let them know that you are GLAD about it!

And back to Sandy’s original list:

Freedom – Any opportunity you have to shed the baggage of your past, go ahead and just do it!  We have received the gift of Freedom in Christ and there is no reason for us to be bound.  Pinpoint those areas of your life where you are still not free and start putting effective practices in place to allow your wings room to expand so that you may fly!

Favor – Favor is the gift of God that allows us to be accelerated to the head of the line.  It is that power that makes people do things for you that they normally might not and certainly would not for anyone else.  And while favor may not be fair, it is just.  Only God knows  where you’ve been and all the strides you have taken to live your life according to his plan.  So when you are shown favor, make no apologies for it.  However…to whom much is given, much is required.  Just as someone reached beyond their comfort zone and helped you, keep your eyes, ears and hearts open to bless those who he will send your way with the sole purpose for YOU to extend FAVOR!

Faith – We all think we walk by faith until a situation comes up where he tells you to make a move and you see no set provision in place to meet your needs.  Whether you choose to step out or stay in the safety of the familiar will tell you where your faith walk really is.  Know that your faith will be tested.  It’s not that God needs to see where your faith is – He already knows, but He needs you to see where it is.  Sometimes you have grown so much he just wants you to see how far you’ve grown and give you a pat on the back.  Sometimes you are not as far as you think you are and he just wants to help you strengthen that area.  Either way…it is all good and all for your benefit.  So go ahead and do that thing he is telling you to do…even if you don’t see a way or know how it will work out for you.  When you make the first step He will reveal the provisions that are already there waiting on you.  And as you take additional steps, even more will be revealed.

Go ahead and make today a great day….ON PURPOSE!  And while you’re at it, whatever situation you find yourself in remember to just “F” it!

Changing lives one word at a time…Tumika Patrice Cain

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com

Her Smiling Face

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Her Smiling Face

At the time, it seemed like one of those end of life conversations.  The kind that had never taken place before.  One of supreme significance.  Although it was almost a year later when she transitioned into eternity, in a way it was an end of life conversation.  For me, it marked the point where my life changed.  The end of my life as I had known it was over, and it was all because of that conversation.

Mary, a lady I had known for years, looked me in the eyes, speaking clearly and softly that morning inside her room in the nursing home.  Tiny Mary, whose 103 year old self, had seen things I had only read about.  She spoke to me about the difficulties of life and about the need to forge on ahead, despite any obstacles that might come my way.  She looked me deep in the eyes and asked probing questions about my life.  Inquiring of those things that made me happy, those things that made me sad – questions like did I like the work I was doing. 

By nature, I am a private, quiet person who doesn’t just share the details of my life with people randomly.  When I speak it is very deliberate and purposeful.  But on this day, as tears poured down my cheeks, it were as though I had nowhere to hide.  Completely exposed, everything I felt and everything I was going through was there, laid out for us to look at and examine together.  We touched on topics I never discussed with anyone…and I knew I was supposed to.  It was a divine appointment, designed to help me discover where the trials and difficulties in life had landed me. 

Nodding her head, she looked at me with complete understanding.  She told me over and over to make my dreams come true.  The message was so clear…no matter what, find what makes me happy and make my dreams come true.  It was up to me.  I nodded my head back at her and told her I would.  Satisfied that she had said all she needed to, she gave me a big smile, closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep…after all, under normal circumstances she would have been asleep anyway.  Her work had been done.

I could not stop thinking about the things she’d said to me.  Make my dreams come true, rang out repeatedly in my mind.  That was when it hit me that I had been doing what I had to and nothing I wanted to for so long, I couldn’t even remember what my dreams were.  I had been so far removed from anything that meant anything significant to me, that I had to go deep within, and even into prayer, to figure out what it was that I truly wanted.

It was that conversation that triggered my quest to live the rest of my life authentically.  Relationships and people who were a drain had to go.  Employment that wasn’t fulfilling my purpose in life, was out of here!  I sat down and really determined what it was that would bring me the most happiness and fulfillment.  Doing so helped me to find my true inner voice – the voice of freedom, the voice of truth.

In the coming months, I referred to this list often as I made plans to chart how I was going to make my dreams come true.  I needed to prioritize, strategize and each day do something towards making at least one thing on that list come true.  It was during this time that I realized that no matter how many journals I had full of ideas or how many plans I had made previously, if I wasn’t actively taking a step towards accomplishing anything, none of the things I had written down would ever come to pass. 

Often it meant stepping outside of my comfort zone.  Always it meant stepping out on faith and holding true to the vision that I had for my life…no matter what came up against it.  This process caused me to see clearly who was for me and who had been against me all along.  It was eye opening in so many ways.  I discovered strength and patience and reserves I never knew existed inside of me.  And, of course, there were the times when I had to encourage myself because the disappointments and setbacks caused me to slow down.  But each time I made it through, I could cheer and pat myself on the back in triumph.  Suddenly the finish line of step one was in sight and I knew I would cross over. 

For each of the things I determined was a priority, I am at varying stages on the journeys.  And it is all good.  Each accomplishment just solidifies in me what she was trying to tell me that day….it’s all in me.  I have everything I need to succeed right on the inside of me and as I travel along life’s path, what I need will meet me on the journey when I get there.  Sometimes in my dreams I could see her ending smile of satisfaction at the results of that conversation.  She was proud of me, like I was her family.  She was glad that I had made the decision to live life by design and no longer by default, because I no longer had to.  She was happy that she had something so significant to pour into the life of someone else.  Her own journey had more meaning by being able to share her experience with another and help another person further along.

This little Jewish woman passed on at a 104 years old.  Remarkable in so many ways.  And though she is no longer gracing the earth with her presence, her legacy lives on…in the words she spoke that changed my life.  The words that gave me the freedom and courage to live the life I was destined to.  Her legacy lives on in every word of truth and act of love I pour into the lives of others.  And in the moments when life is still and quiet, I can see her nodding her head and smiling at me just before she closed her eyes and went to sleep.

Each one….reach one.  Thanks Mary!

In memory of Mary Fink ~ Sunrise January 1, 1909 ~ Sunset January 29 , 2013

Changing lives one word at a time…Tumika Patrice Cain

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com