Lover of My Soul

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Lover of My Soul

I am not married, yet I have been a bride for eight years and counting…for I am the bride of Christ.  This gentle Lover of my soul who tends so carefully, diligently, succinctly to the daily needs of my person.  All my life I have wanted to be married, but have to laugh when I am barely a wife to the Husband that I already have.  If I cannot give Him everything He requires, how then do I think I’ll be able to give an earthly, flawed human all that he needs when it all comes from my First Love?

Ours is an ongoing love affair beginning before I ever had a conscious thought of Him.  He picked me even before I was born, laying colorful gems and stones in place, setting the stage for our extended courtship.

So many times I looked into the face of my Betrothed, not knowing Who or What I saw, but He smiled and let me discover things my own way.  At times He had to have grown tired, even frustrated, perhaps wounded, as I sought love in the arms of another, but He is a patient man.  He tells me He knew I would come…that I was worth the wait.

I am humbled in His presence.  Sometimes realizing exactly what I’ve been blessed with – so awed by His beauty and magnificence I want to run away and hide.  Other times so blessed by that same magnificence I want to run into His arms and never leave.

He looks at me with the gentle eyes of a lover who sees His prize and knows her worth, saying, “Beloved, strip naked in my presence.  Do not hide yourself from me behind titles, fear, feelings of unworthiness, shame.  I see you.  It is you that I want.  Remember that I picked you!”  And I, entranced by the intensity of the look in His eyes begin a slow striptease, taking off layer upon of layer of whatever would dare stand between me and the gentle touch of my Lover.  And for a time I am there, naked in His sight and He smiles, enraptured.  Languishing in my beauty as if seeing me for the first time.  He says He never tires of seeing me.  Says he wishes to share in such sweet communion with me always.  Each time He sees me, He is reminded of how much He loves me, how much I mean to Him, how there is no price too high for Him to pay for me…and already has paid.  Loves me so much that He creates new and tender mercies for me each and every morning.

I awake to the feel of His breath upon my cheek.  It is the soft whisper of my name upon His lips that stirs me into consciousness as I begin yet another day.  He says, “Beloved, do not begin your day without our special time together.  Your prayers rising to me are as sweet as Frankincense.  I relish in our time together.  It is in those moments before you face the day that I want to prepare you, strengthen you for what lies ahead…for I am able to see what you cannot see.  Talk with me, my Beloved.  Let us have the most precious of moments together.  Lift your voice in song to me.  I never feel so close to you as when you are praising me.  Yes, I remember now, why I chose you.  You are beautiful to me.  There are no sweeter words spoken than the sound of My name upon your lips.  You are my beautiful bride.  Tell me how much I mean to you.  Show me how much I mean to you.”

Loving Him isn’t duty and it isn’t a job even though it does require much from me.  It is the greatest desire of my heart.  I have looked for Him all my life and He has always been right here…waiting on me to see Him and to love Him with a fraction of the love He has always had for me.

Sometimes the intensity of His love is too much for me to take.  And me being me, I back away.  Get lax in my time alone with Him.  I never see myself so clearly as when we are alone, face to face.  I am not always ready to see all that there is of me to see.  The more I give of myself to Him, the more of me He wants.  While I know it is best, it is right, it is good…I am not always ready to give what He is asking for when He asks and so I run.  Sometimes a little, other times a lot, until the ugly, reality of life becomes visible and it is revealed to me just why He asked for what I so selfishly held on to.  I miss the protecting, soothing embrace of my Lover, Husband of mine.  Then it is I, without reservation, who comes running back, dropping layers along the way – yearning once again to be naked and unashamed in His sight.

The longer we are married, the shorter the separations are between us.  You see, I cannot, will not, live without Him.  He completes me and I am whole only in His presence.  I am no longer a skittish, squeamish child bride, but am instead becoming a mature woman in the arms of my Husband who sets the stage for me to be all that He created me to be.  He is my daily bread and protector of all things concerning me.

His unchanging ways comfort me and bring about stability in a world where the only thing that is constant is change.  He has never altered one word that He’s ever spoken to me.  It comforts me to know that He never will.

We are one, becoming one mind as I put aside the things of the world, rising in elevation to meet Him where He is.  We have one purpose – to bring others, joining them in the kingdom, preparing them for their own sacred marriage ceremony with Him until we all become one body.

Changing lives one word at a time...Tumika

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Tumika Patrice Cain is an award-winning author, media personality, and motivational speaker. Through her imprint, Inkscriptions Publishing & Media Group, she provides high quality, affordable, mentor-based publishing services to indie authors, as well as inspired, empowering messages of hope and abundance through her media outlets. Her works can be found in many publications, including Fresh Lifestyle Magazine. To learn more about Tumika, her books, and her services visit the following websites. http://www.TumikaPatrice.com and http://www.InkscriptionsPMG.com